If You Opened it, it Better be from You
by CeceRoze
Summary: Stanley manages to get Soos's diary into his hands at the same time that Dipper happens to be bedridden. He finds this to be the perfect time to dish out all of the secrets Soos kept locked in the diary to his great nephew. The others, feeling sorry for Dipper because his grunkle refuses to leave, devise a plan. But they must act it out behind the backs of both Stan and Soos.
1. Chapter 1

Mabel opened her eyes to a rather disturbing noise emitting from the bed next to her and groaned. A sound like that could only mean bad news. Her brother was coming down with something again. Boy was this summer just full of surprises. The girl had to wrench her body into an upright position in order to just sit up. She looked across the small, shared attic that they slept in to Dipper's bed. Only the top matted tuft of his brown hair was visible but Mabel did hear him cough weakly again. She swung her legs over the edge of her own mattress. "Dipper?" she kept her voice low and soft as she tiptoed over to the side of his bed. She saw the faint rise and fall of the suddenly small lump beneath the big, blue quilt. In that moment he looked so peaceful and vulnerable that Mabel decided to let him sleep just a little longer.

She was about to turn and crawl back onto her bed when just then the door nearly flew off of its hinges. "Kids!" their great uncle burst in nearly shrieking. "You will never believe what I found."

Mabel winced a little at his obnoxious volume but was very eager to know what had him so worked up, "Is it explosive costume jewelry?"

"Close," he put up a finger, eyes bright and still grinning widely without noticing his nephew shivering still under the covers. "I was able to bribe Soos's grandmother to hand over his diary!" He took a teal-colored booklet out from behind his back and presented it to her.

Mabel studied it closely, "'Do not open under any circumstances, please. Property of Jesus Ramirez. If lost, please return.'"

"I haven't looked in it all the way through yet," Stan continued to brag. "I wanted to wait to show you and Wendy. We just need to keep it away from Soos. Who knows what he'd do to his poor Abuelita if he ever found out?"

The brunette took the diary into her own hands and felt along the spine the leather binding. Then the features of her braced face contorted into a smile huge enough to push to boundaries of her head dimensions and rival that of her grunkle's. She hurled herself nearly four feet into the air, screaming, "Oh my god, Grunkle Stan! We have to cancel Soos's shift and call Wendy over right now!" She noticed the lump covered by Dipper's bed sheets squirm just the slightest bit. Her expression sobered up a little at that and her voice quiets again. "But, uh, maybe we should leave the room. Dipper's still trying to sleep. I don't think he's feeling very well today. He and Great Uncle Ford were out pretty late last night doing who cares what. I'll bet he's just exhausted. We should leave him alone for now and go call Wendy."

It was then Grunkle Stan finally noticed Dipper's limp form on the bed. Mabel could only swear to have squinted and seen his eyebrows knit less than a millimeter together in the most microscopic display of concern. His voice lowered as well, "You're probably right, but we should check to see just in case anything's wrong. In the meantime, I'd like to have a little talk with my own brother concerning what I warned him about interacting with you two..."

"Grunkle Stan, please don't!" Mabel begged him abruptly. She shoved Soos's diary back into Stan's hands and began to direct him and herself out of the room. "You guys should really try cause anything that might start a fight especially when Dipper's sick."

"The whole reason he is sick is because Ford kept him out past curfew in the first place! He of all people knows exactly how threatening this town is to a kid's life. They probably went through that one-hundred-acre thorn patch where the thorns are stuck to the point with poison and Dipper got pricked or some crazy crap like that!"

At that moment a raspy voice so quiet neither Stan nor Mabel could hear it fully made itself known, "No...D-don't blame him...hngn...It'ss not his fault." The boy's words slurred and he looked at neither of them. Instead he held his head in his hands, his soppy hair flopping over his face to cover any giveaway expressions. But he looked as if he were holding it in pain. What could be wrong? Both Mabel and Stan inwardly glanced around the room to confirm that neither of them had turned on any bright lights since Mabel awoke. It was the morning sunlight that was just beginning to filter through the attic window down to its floorboards that pierced his eyes. The eyes were especially sensitive given the current state he was in. It took all he had just to groan and wave off the disturbing scenery around him pounding into his head.

Stan came forward, worry very clearly painted on his face, "Hey, kid, uh...you okay there? I won't blame Ford if you really don't think it's his fault. Hey." He knelt down beside the bed and reached over to pat his great nephew on the head but just as quickly pulled his enormous, ancient hand away after gasping. Dipper moaned and clutched his hair. Mabel was beginning to grow fearful and hurried up to join the two of them.

Her giant eyes suddenly glistened to the brim when she looked up desperately at her uncle, "Grunkle Stan, is he gonna be alright?"

Stan placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and smiled, "Yeah, it's just like all those other times he got sick. We'll just let him rest for a while and give him medicine later. But today I think I found the perfect use for this diary in light of Dipper being out of commission..."


	2. Chapter 2

Although Mabel was still technically worried for her brother and it was weird without him out and about as usual, flipping through Soos's diary served to be a decent distraction. After reading about how one of his friends was taken by a griffin brought to life by Dipper and Ford's game of Dungeons, Dungeons, & More Dungeons, she giggled to herself and turned another page. Stan was currently on the phone with Soos, "I'm telling you Soos, we don't need you. Everything's fine here at the Shack. No, nothing happened. Ford will cover for you today. You just take the day off or something and whatever you do, don't write in your diary. Yes, Ford and I made a truce- but just for today! No, you're not being replaced. Now please get off the phone and stop badgering us. Today is a busy day. We're crowded to our jugular veins in customers!" The old man rolled his eyes before slamming the Shack's telephone back down on the counter and walking away muttering under his breath. That last coherent statement to Soos gave Mabel another sever case of incessant giggling seeing as the shop was completely empty that morning.

The bell rang, signaling someone entering the Shack. Maybe that thought came a little too soon. But no. She was right. Whatever came through that door was no customer. "I don't suppose you can tell me why Mr. Pines called me here so early? And what happened to Soos? On the phone, your uncle told me he won't be coming in today. I don't get it. Did something happen? And where is your clingy brother?"

Mabel closed the book with an audible snap and rolled over onto her elbows in her position on the floor, "Don't worry. All will be revealed in time." And time enveloped them pretty quick as just then Stan's footsteps were heard from the den. He came back out into the shop in full costume with and tassel on his fez swinging in near excitement. He arched his back and straightened his bow-tie in a faux-proud stance, "Greetings, fellow t- oh. It's only you."

"Wow, happy to see you too, Stanley," Wendy smirked and sat down at the register.

The old man cleared his throat rather obnoxiously, "Well actually on second thought, this is pretty big news. I'm glad you're here. It seems as though it will be a slow day by the look of it, so we may as well get to work."

Wendy looked between niece and grunkle with her eyebrow raised for a time, "So...what exactly is the big news you wanna tell me about?"

Stan gently elbowed his niece, "Hey kid, why don't you be our spokesperson. Should come natural to ya."

The girls eyes shined brightly, "Okay!" She again reached for the book but Stan scooped it up this time before she could get to it. She pouted at him indignantly when he held it out of her reach, probably wondering what was the big idea. He couldn't help but be reminded of Dipper and the way he is with his brothers ridiculous journals.

He remembered Dipper and knew he should hurry up, "Hey, hey. Relax, sweetheart. You'll get to show the diary to Wendy. That's why I made a photocopy for just that reason. See? It's why I had to go in the back for a minute." He reached into his invisible pocket and pulled out a roll of warm paper, literally fresh from the press. With a wrinkled face, Mabel begrudgingly accepted the photocopy while Stan made a quick-paced power-walk back out of the room. Once up the stairs, he sighed in relief to be away from a potentially awkward situation although he didn't believe he did anything truly wrong. This would be something Stanford would scold him for, he was sure of it. But this time was different from all the rest- not that he cared what his good-for-nothing brother thought. He was doing this all for the well-being of their mutual great-nephew. He didn't expect Stanford to understand in the slightest. Ever since that man had come out through the portal, his intentions had been completely devoid of anything remotely fun. Now poor Dipper was stuck in bed, unable to come down and join in on the fun. So Stan decided to do the next best thing and bring the fun of ripping into their close friend's personal life that they'd bought off of his abuelita's betrayal up to him.

He reached the hallway and stepped up to the attic door, feeling a bit awkward as he knocked once and heard nothing. Tentatively, the old man slowly turned the rusted knob and the door creaked open. Stan peeked in through the crack. He'd strung the flaps over the attic's triangular window so the light wouldn't bother the boy but that didn't stop the room from filling up with just enough light to be able to find one's bearings. It didn't look as if Dipper had really moved much since he'd last checked in on him. His body was pretty much still near-invisible, muddled up underneath his thin, blue comforter. At least the tablets as well as half of the glass of water he'd left on the desk beside his bed were gone. Stan took a reluctant step inside, wondering if maybe he should rethink his decision. But he had to face the fact that he felt sorry for the pitiful thing in bed. He walked over quietly to the shivering lump and knelt down, tucking Soos's diary beneath his arm.

The shape beneath the covers shifted a little as he approached and lifted the blanket up the slightest bit to look directly at the book Stan carried with him.


	3. Chapter 3

There were still not many customers coming to visit that day. Word was out that Gideon was back in town with a new pyramid show scheme he most likely was putting on. Those currently at the Mystery Shack correctly assumed that all of the tourists were congregating wherever that was for the day. And thus the Shack was quiet enough for the drop of a pin to sound around the house. Also quiet enough for the barely-stifled laughter of the only two available workers for the day to bounce off of the hall. The girls had finally managed to pawn Soos's photocopy diary off to Stan for the real thing. When they'd first started going through the copy, everything had been smudged out by the lights or had debris or fell off the uneven page or some other inconvenience. Mabel had felt surprised the magic printer that had cloned all those Dippers the night of their rave had not seemed to affect the diary one bit. Of course, that was before she'd noticed the disgusting blot of ink not on the same page as the original.

Her multicolored fingernails worked at the laminated page. It wouldn't turn. Eventually she was able to get to the next page. "I had no idea Soos had such pretty handwriting!" she gushed and she looked up and down the new page. She placed it back flat onto the counter so that Wendy could get a good look at it from over her shoulder. It read, "Dear Diary,

Today I tried to call Melody, but she never seems to be in. It feels like it's been so long since we last talked- me and her I mean, not you and I. Abuelita called her something I wasn't quite sure was accurate when I told her how absent she'd been. She called her a "gold digger" which I thought was absurd. That still doesn't explain why she hasn't called back. It's making me feel really depressed. But I can't express that depression around my friends. Abuelita says that's why they're the only ones that stuck around me. I tried telling Mr. Pines a while back but he said to never bring it up again. He said it was bad for business and I'd hate to make anyone else unhappy with my own unhappiness. Since I have no one to talk to about my problems other than my Abuelita who sometimes just makes things worse, I have to resort to other things. One of those other things is talking to you. But there are some things I can only tell you that nobody else can ever find out! In order to cope with my unending loneliness, sometimes when my friends are not around, I work on dummies of them made out of corn sacks I find randomly lying around the house. You know how old people like Abuelita are. They just can't clean up after themselves anymore. I started with her, then moved onto Stan. I'm pretty much almost done with everyone. I just have to dig through the trash to find a good turtleneck for Ford. As you know, he's kind of a late addition to the party. If I have enough time in my spare time- which with Melody giving me the cold shoulder I definitely do- I may even one day replicate everyone in Gravity Falls! Wow. I should really find another hobby, something else to do with my life than mooch off of Abuelita's living spaces."

At the bottom of the page were a few rough sketches in green ink of Abuelita, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Melody, and Ford made out of corn sacks with dot-eyed happy faces scribbled across the front of each "head." Ford was missing the right pair of glasses and went completely without his trademark sweater.

"Oh my god!" Wendy exclaimed while Mabel gasped and put a hand to her mouth in shock. The redhead's next words were so quiet and shaky they were barely even audible. "I never knew. I...I never knew that Soos was... so...so literate! Look at this, it's just like the way he talks. His usage of grammar is on point."

"I know what you mean," Mabel responded. "It's like I'm reading one of those autobiographies by a hot, European heartthrob!"

"Who knew Soos was such a brilliant writer?" Wendy mused.

"I know. He's really great," Mabel replied absentmindedly turning yet another page. "But his overall storytelling skills need some working on. I mean just think about that last entry. What even happened within the entire span of the page-long paragraph? Absolutely nothing! It was just Soos whining about how his hussy of a girlfriend finally realized realized she was too good for him."

"Yeah, and that's another thing," Wendy added looking thoughtful. "The whole thing looks like it was written all dark and depressing from beginning to end just for the sake of sounding 'edgy.' There's no meaning behind it, no payoff! I bet we could probably write a better story than Soos recording his own life's experiences. Even if neither of us can come up with nearly as clever adjectives him."

At that, the brunette snapped her fingers as if awaking from an epiphany, "That's just it!"

"What?"

"Well, you said it yourself: Soos's life kinda sucks."

"So?"

"So, we'll make it better. We can create a better life story for Stan to read to Dipper the next time he gets a hold of the diary! Poor Dipping Sauce. He must be so bummed out if this is all there is to entertain him and we're the ones with the actual diary right now. So what do you say, Wendy?"

"Well I suppose it would give us something to do without any customers..."

"Great! I'll go get the glitter pens!"


	4. Chapter 4

More giggles emanated through the hallway. As Stanley carefully skirted his way down the staircase, cautious not to disturb his nephew upstairs, he was greeted by another sound. He swung around and made his way to the front room. He was sure that the shop was as empty as he'd left it. Surely Wendy would have rang him down if even one customer came in interested in any of the items. And sure enough when he poked his head in, there was no one to be found. Then where was that strange and ominous laughter coming from? Stan stood back upright in the hallway and raised his eyebrow suspiciously. He turned around, noticing the noises were coming from the direction of the den. Sure enough, walking in there were Mabel and Wendy trying to hold in laughter as they struggled almost vainly to write. They were seated at the table using Mabel's infamous glitter pens. Stan clutched the photocopy of the diary tighter in his hand and shook his head at the sight. They were ditching work for this? He made a mental note to dock Wendy's pay for the day as well as confiscate those god-forsaken glitter pens. Of course he'd end up forgetting to do both those things.

The old man cleared his throat in order to make his presence known to the other two. They immediately cut with the laughing and turned their heads to where he stood. "Hey there, Stan," the redhead waved to him. "How's Dipper?"

"He seems a little better now. He's asking too many unnecessary and annoying questions so that's a good sign," Stan answered her. "He'll be antsy and tempted to get out of bed if I'm down here for too long so I'd like to make this quick. Do you have the diary? This copy of it is damn near unreadable. I think there might be something wrong with the old printer upstairs. All these years and I didn't want to get it fixed or a new one, too pricey. Dipper and Mabel did tell there was something off about it. I'm starting to think that just maybe they might be right for once."

The last offhand statement earned an offended, "Hey!" from Mabel as she still wrote.

Stan rubbed the back of his head, "So uh, yeah. Just gimme the real thing. If I'm not back up there, the kid's gonna find some mathematical way to rope himself down from the roof into some pool of intergalactic slime with Ford." He slapped the copy down onto the table where Mabel still sat hunched over whatever the heck she was working on.

"Okay fine. Just take it!" oh boy. the giggling was back. She hurled the book in his face and it hit the man square in the jaw.

It dropped from there and he caught it in both his hands before waving it in the air and smiling, "Thanks, sweetie! Alright, I'm off again. And hey, you two should get back to work. I know there are no customers today but there's no reason Soos can't wander away from his sad life to the Shack again." With that he left wondering absentmindedly what Mabel and Wendy were using the glitter pens on. He didn't bother asking, however. Whatever they were doing, he was sure it would never affect him in the slightest. He just wished they would stop it with the tooth-grinding giggling already that seemed to increase as he headed up the stairs.

The old man opened the door and stepped back into the twins' room where Dipper appeared to be in a fitful slumber. When the door opened, he cracked apart one eyelid then sat up slowly and a bit unsteadily when he noticed it was his great uncle. Stan noticed the corner of his mouth fall into the slightest hint of a grimace but his eyes looked brightly up at him, telling him that there were good signs. His nephew was on the long and wobbly road to recovery and Stan did not think leaving him with his loneliness would help him. "Hey, kid," he said, pulling up the chair he had sat in before. It creaked against the floorboards as his weight was forced upon it. He opened up Soos's diary and began flipping through it. After a little while, he put up a finger, still flipping through. "Alrighty, just give me a second to find where I last left off here." He licked his index finger before turning another page onto the one bookmarked with a torn piece of scrap paper. "Here we go: the discovery of an old time capsule buried deep in his grandmother's backyard! Oh god, he must be playing his childish rendition of medieval cardboard knights again.

Dear Diary,

Today after storming the fortress, I found myself in a mysterious out rim. Being the brave steward that I am, I decided to get a closer look and against all odds boldly ventured out into the unknown." Stan made a fake spitting noise and rolled his eyes. The guy was still in character even at the end of the day? How pathetic. The action earned a weak but amused smile from Dipper and Stan went on. "There was a circle in the ground. In a flash I knew it had to have been a treasure trove of ancient artifacts, buried long ago by the elders of Forendale. It was at once obvious that I had to get to the bottom of this. (Get it? Because I have to dig to the bottom of the hole in order to find out what's buried down there.) The rest of the Royal Guard for my kingdom that I swore loyalty to were fast away in their resting places. So I went into the main castle to retrieve a shovel and I dug and I dug until I finally struck what looked to be a small box covered in coal..."


	5. Chapter 5

"What? What is this? What is going on?" Stan grumbled as he attempted to flip through the remainder of the diary's pages, his fingers slipping and skipping each page at every edge. He didn't recall the book being nearly this long. He had been so sure at the beginning that they would be able to knock it out in a weekend. But something about the book now almost seemed...different...as if somebody had tried to add in extra pages. But all that didn't matter. All Stan wanted to do is get through the diary and laugh at all of Soos's embarrassing secrets. But now he could barely turn the pages without risk of spilling more magenta glitter all across his fingertips. And that was another thing. The newer pages were almost unreadable due to the seizure-inducing piles of glitter glued messily to the back pages, forcing them to stick to each other. Soos's handwriting had also gotten a little stranger and kept on fluctuating between one style to another. But never did it go back to the way it always was at the beginning of the book.

Stanley however wanted nothing more than to finish the book. But looking ahead, he wasn't quite sure how completion would even play out. A tired cough snapped him out of his confusion, "Grunkle Stan, are you gonna go on?"

The old man glance back at the pale boy lying in bed, brown hair frizzy and ruffled from lying down for so long, "Uh, yeah. Sorry, I was just looking ahead here at the most current pages and they seem a little off. He flipped the book so that the pages faced Dipper and held open the last few pages on display. "Do you remember them looking this illegible?"

Dipper's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized the paper. The blinding colors reflecting from the overhead light bulb hurt his vulnerable head. But he knew in an instant his sister had to be involved. Besides, who loved shiny things more than her? He looked at his gruncle, "Grunkle Stan, didn't you mention something about Mabel asking for this every time you go downstairs? Because this sound suspiciously a lot like something she would totally do."

Stan shook his head, "Heheh. Nonsense. Mabel would never desecrate such private property. Remember, we're only violating Soos's privacy, not defiling it." The boy still had his doubts but nonetheless held his tongue as he knew Stan was never going to leave if they didn't get this over with. Finally Stan flipped back to where they last left off when Soos's delusions had gotten so out of whack that he began imagining his Abuelita's corn sack coming to life and performing satanic rituals. Some of the glitter was already beginning to seep into that very page at this point. He cleared his throat and began to read, "Dear Diary,

I don't believe that I can hide in here much longer. But now I'm sure she knows where I am at this point. It probably won't be long until she begins attempting to break down my door. I'm not sure what I'll do after that. I'm not entirely sure what I can do if I don't even know what she wants from me. She'll most likely kill me when she finally busts in here. There she goes ramming herself into my door right now. It no doubt won't hold for much longer. I never should've shown her Pandora's box. How was I supposed to know it held real sorcery and would possess my poor Abuelita? All it was supposed to be was a game! I can feel the door coming off on its hinges and it also seems to warming up. Plus it's beginning to smell like fire. Why in the world does it smell like fire! The door, the door is burning! I gotta go!"

Suddenly there was a shrill scream from down in the lobby, "GRUNKLE STAN!" Stan jumped while Dipper winced slightly. The man snapped the book shut in an exasperated fit. Dipper had to admit to himself that he was in the slightest bit disappointed. This had actually turned out to be a rather heated moment in Soos's life. Stan's brows furrowed in annoyance. "Damn. We were just getting to the good part. Still, I guess I better go down there and give the girls what they want. I'll be back up in about a minute with the unreadable photocopy." And with that, the door closed behind him.

"GRUNKLE STAN GET DOWN HERE WE NEED THE BOOK RIGHT NOW!" Mabel was still screaming when he finally got down there. At the bottom of the stairs he stopped for a moment to rub his tired eyes beneath his glasses. He wasn't about to admit it but Mabel was beginning to get on his nerves. Taking a deep breath, he walked around into the hallway in the middle of which he found the girl standing with her arms crossed expectantly. She knew that he knew exactly what she wanted. The gruncle sighed and handed the diary over. She grinned happily, her braces glistening against the overhead lights. "Thank you, Stan! You won't regret it, I promise." She gave him the paper copy and skipped back to the shop. Sighing again, Stan turned with his expensive bundle of wasted trees and marched back up the stairs.

* * *

"Did you get it from him?" Wendy asked looking up from fiddling with her phone at the counter as the girl approached.

"Of course I did," Mabel replied as she walked in. She waved it in the air above her head for her friend to see before sliding in beside her at the counter. They spread the gel pens across the counter and opened the book to where they left off. They did not remember piling so much glitter atop their added pages but it at least disguised the wildly changing handwriting style.


	6. Chapter 6

It was slightly unnerving wondering exactly what the hell was all that racket echoing from the main parts of the Shack. From up there it sounded obnoxious which was odd at this time of the week where even the tourists had moved on. He was surprised that there was anything he could here from anywhere near the shop at all. This made the grunkle suspicious. The shop was usually empty on days like this. And even on days where people flocked to Shack to bring home some sort of souvenir proving that they'd visited some nowhere town in Oregon, the only noise occurred through one of Stan's bizarre shows. And that noise always came in ignorant cheers. This was a lot different. This was just a couple of strangely familiar voices guffawing hysterically at something that was not Stan for once. The grunkle had some questions for the noisemakers.

Mabel and Wendy's joy at poking fun at their friend's life never ceased. They were glad he had obeyed Stan's orders and had never come in the entire day. That way with the lack of customers and Dipper's near immobile state, the only one ever bothering either of them was Stanley. They always knew when he was coming down, his body being hefty enough to make significant vibrations around the house as he came down the stairs each time to bug them for the diary back. "What should we put after Old Man McGucket wins the Homeless Person's Pageant?" Mabel asked in lieu of imminent and redundant struggle for the diary them and Stan were so expecting of constantly.

"I don't know," Wendy put a finger to her face and glanced upward in thought. "But we'd better think of something soon before a certain someone comes pounding back in here to 'check' on us." And sure enough just as the words left her mouth, a rumbling of footsteps could be heard on stairs. A door opened and then closed again and then Wendy and Mabel heard the old man coming toward them in the same room that they were currently in.

"What're you two looking at? Some sort of book?" Mabel grabbed the book and slammed it closed as the gruff voice approached. The girls looked up from the counter to see the infamous author himself standing on the other side and gazing down at them curiously. "Well, it's um..," the girl stuttered to find out words. Should she let him in on their secret? Her Grunkle Ford was the only person she hadn't seen nor talked about all day. And Soos had been one of the first people that he had met coming out of that portal. It would make sense that he would already be in the loop of the Mystery Shack family. The problem was, he'd been down in the basement doing god knows what all day. Wasn't he wondering how Dipper was doing? Did he even know how ill he was feeling right now?

Mabel noticed that Ford and Wendy still stared at her expectantly, so she covered the diary with her arms. She decided that if he'd bothered to venture out of the basement at this time of day, then he had the right to know what's been going on around the house, "We're snooping around Soos's personal property."

"And we're also defacing it!" Wendy added. "You really should read it, Mr. Pines. We made Soos's life sound much more awesome than it usually is."

Ford raised an eyebrow, "Really? May I see it? Give it here." Mabel was a bit hesitant at first, but she noticed the sparkle of mischief in her gruncle's eye that reminded her of Stan's. She handed the book over to Ford and watched as his face lit up even more. But it wasn't from unhinged joy the way it had been with her and Wendy for a long time. Instead there was something determined and judgemental about this expression. She watched him turn the book sideways confusedly and give out a chuckle at something that was in it. After a minute he snapped the book closed and came back to the girls with a condescending glint in his eyes. Mabel didn't know if she liked that. He gazed down at her with half-lidded eyes and a small grin. "Did you girls think you could actually write a coherent story starting from scratch out of this trite?" He stuck out his open palm. "Here. Hand me that gel pen. I'll show you how to correctly complete an unfinished piece of documentation." Wendy handed him one of the pens and he clicked it open, beginning to write.

* * *

It was approaching evening when Stanley decided to come downstairs once again to claim the diary. He suspected it was at about this time that Wendy would start to close up shop. He still heard voices coming from downstairs but when he stood in the doorway of the gift shop, it was already dark and empty with the Closed sign dangling on the door handle. It looked like Wendy and Mabel had closed up early and then moved their quaint little book club back to the den. He turned to see silhouettes of people huddled over the kitchen table and when he got closer in the right light, he saw that they were of Mabel, Wendy, and Stanford. "Oh hey, Stanley," Ford glanced up casually when he heard him come in. He had his hand on the diary. Now even that jerk face was getting involved! Great, so now he's in on it too, Stan thought. "These two told me about Dipper. How is he? I told him the mud storm would be too cold and wet last night for two people to keep up in."

"You guys haven't noticed anything strange about the diary, like with glitter?"


	7. Chapter 7

The three behind the counter glanced at one another for a brief moment, wondering how they could have had been so ignorant as to not cover up their own tracks. Surely it wouldn't have had to take an exceptional effort to keep Stanley in the dark? Well, at least it wouldn't hurt to try. "Glitter? Nope. We didn't put any glitter in this book," Mabel grabbed up the diary and flipped through it, feigning her best surprised face once approaching upon the last few pages. "Whoa! I didn't know Soos had such exquisite design taste! Did either of you guys add to the diary?" She looked up at Wendy and Ford and they both shook there heads in unison. Then she turned back to Stan and shrugged. "I guess the only way it could be here is if it always was...unless, of course, you added it into the mix while you had it with Dipper."

"What? No way!" the old man spat. "I may be a lot of things, a con man, a gambler, but only a cold-hearted monster would write in someone else's diary!" The others couldn't find a way to argue with that fact. "Now hand over the diary, Stanford. It's my turn to have it."

Ford took the diary from Mabel but didn't give it to Stan. Instead he placed his hands on his hips, "And why exactly do you need the original copy anyway? What's wrong with the photocopy?"

"If you had come up from your manhole in the basement earlier and actually spent time with your family, you'd know that the photocopy is hard to read, Ford!" he shot him a glare. Things would be getting even worse now that he'd joined in on the charade, he just knew it. "Dipper has nothing else to do for the next few days because of a certain _someone_ and I want him to enjoy the complete experience." Ford now had the book back on the counter and Stan took this opportunity to snatch it away from him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I should be getting back up there. I've been away from him for an entire two minutes thanks to you." He turned on his heel and headed for the stairs but the other three rushed over to beat him to it and block his way.

"Why can't we go see Dipper?" Mabel demanded attempting her most convincing pout.

"Yeah, what are you even doing with him up there?" Wendy raised an eyebrow. It didn't seem at that point that Stan could back out of the discussion. All three of them craved an explanation. But Stan suspected that they already knew and were just waiting for an excuse not to let him back into the twins' room if he told them the truth. Of course, he knew for sure that they weren't about to let him in there if he told him nothing at all. It looked like he was stuck between options as he was definitely not a man of truth.

A sharp banging on glass blasted itself throughout the house, making everyone jump. All heads turned in the direction of the shop. Another pound on the screen came from the other side of the door where it was plain to see how dark it had gotten outside. That could only mean that someone was trying to break in, right? The pounding continued but for a moment no one could move. Of course Stan was the first to snap out of it as this would be a perfect segway from the squabble he had gotten himself caught up in. But also no one stepped foot in his shop after hours! All four of them started forward, ready to defend the sick kid upstairs from whatever supernatural threat this week had brought in. Creeping forward, the group peered into the dark, empty shop and witnessed a stout but tall silhouette behind the fogged up glass. Mabel got ready to make a dash for the shelf of grappling hooks in case anything happened while Stan flashed his knuckles and For put a hand on his holster. Wendy had the diary now and slipped it protectively beneath her flannel overcoat. They all stepped forward into the shop to see the figure more clearly as it pounded on the door again. Inching forward, Ford crept closer and closer to the door. Finally he was close enough to get a good grip of the handle with his other hand still at the ready to reach for his gun. Before turning the knob and opening the door, he cast one last glance over to the others behind him for a final confirmation. They all nodded back at him to do it. He slid the gun out of the holster and flipped it into trigger position, hiding it beneath the confines of his coat. The evening suddenly became deathly quiet whenever the front door was not being rattled from the outside. Quickly stepping out of the way, Stanford grabbed the knob and yanked open the door. Immediately mist from the night air spilled into the room and clouded the figure even more. The group jumped forward at once, ready to lunge at them. Stan and Wendy brandished their knuckles and Mabel cocked her grappling hook. From behind the door, Ford reached around the frame toward the outside world and pointed his gun. The mist slowly began to clear and everyone tensed up for the sight.

The mist cleared as the figure walked through the door and they gasped. Soos waved his hand, "Hey there, folks!" He paused and then chuckled nervously when he noticed four people with weapons ready to exorcise him to the fifty-second dimension. "Uh, isn't it a little late to be doing inventory?" Following another awkward silence, everyone spontaneously dropped their weapons in unison. It was just Soos...who could only be here for one thing.


	8. Chapter 8

There was an uncomfortably awkward silence that went on for nearly a minute of Stanley, Stanford, Mable, and Wendy all staring wide-eyed at Soos before it was finally broken. Though Soos was technically not intended to overhear this exchange, the rest of the house was so quiet that Mabel's words rang loud and clear. She hissed at Wendy to get rid of the book. Wendy, looking down, realized that she indeed still held the diary beneath her shirt. It nearly slipped through her arms but she grabbed it quickly and hid it again before Soos could see it which was a good move since now his attention was directed at her. "What is she talking about, Wendy? I don't see any book," he babbled ignorantly.

"Nothing, Soos," Stan sighed, giving Wendy the chance to slip away. "What the hell are you even doing here? I thought I told you not to come to work today."

The young man rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the ground, "Yeah but I figured work would be over by the time I got here so I decided to drop by."

"Well you're not needed here and we didn't ask you to come," Stan turned his back and waved him off. "Go back home. We probably won't need you for another few days anyway..."

"Grunkle Stan, that is so rude!" Mabel glared at him.

"For the first time in likely fifty years, I think I actually agree with Stanley on this," Ford said. When Mabel turned to him with her most watery puppy-dog eyes he placed his hand on her shoulder and continued. "My brother is simply being too blunt. What he _meant_ to say is how busy we are right now. Not to mention how late it's gotten already. We should probably send Wendy home. You two can walk each other back home. We would welcome both of you to stay but it's just too dark out at this time."

Soos paused for a minute, staring the three of them down. He knew they were hiding something from him. He decided to play it cool, though he wasn't entirely sure how to do that. Being a sleuth like Dipper never did come all that easy to him. This had become especially tough after his diary disappeared with another one of Abuelita's Spring Cleaning in the Summer business. Ever since then he'd been without a record of recent events for the past few days and he found it surprisingly disorienting. Now, going about his day to day life and just thinking simple thoughts proved to be very difficult for him. And now, faced with a suspicious obstacle in which the odds were stacked against him, the only think he could think was what would Melody do in this situation. He knew what she would at first do: question literally everything. "Wendy? But where is Wendy? I don't see her here. Where did she go off to, can you explain to me that?" He waggled his eyebrow for emphasis at the end of his sentence.

* * *

Nearly out of breath, the redhead stomped to the top of the stairs where Soos was hopefully out of earshot. The first thing she saw up there was a door. Without giving a second thought, she grabbed hold of the knob and slammed the door behind her, sliding her back against it and nearly to the floor. She finally felt it safe to uncover the diary and held it tightly to her chest, eyes adjusting and heart pounding as she gasped to catch her breath. "Wendy? W-what are you doing up here? Where's Grunkle Stan?" Wendy's eyes shot open and she straightened up just in time to see the sickly boy struggle to swing his feet over the edge of his bed.

"Dipper, wait!" she put out her arms in a blocking position and showed him the diary. "We have to be quiet. Soos is here and we can't let him find out about this." Without thinking, she walked up to Dipper and gently pushed him back into bed, awkwardly pulling the covers back over him. Dipper blushed but he was too weak to resist. He was confused and his headache was acting up again. All he wanted was to just know what was going on. If they listened closely, there were quarreling voices coming from downstairs but Wendy told him to just ignore them. She sat down on his bedside and flipped open the book. Before he could object, she asked him where Stan had left off. Her voice was soft again and Dipper feared it would lull him to sleep- possibly something she wanted to happen.

He tried to open his mouth and speak but all that came out was, "Uhhh..."

She skipped to the exact page that Stan had left off before he'd rushed out of the room just a few minutes prior. She cut him off before he could form a single coherent word, "Let's see. Stan mentioned something about the glitter Mabel and I sprinkled onto the new pages that we added. That has to mean he's reached it and came down to ask about it." Dipper wondered exactly how Wendy was going to read to him the added parts of the diary when she herself surely couldn't read what Mabel had covered. "I'm more than sure he doesn't have the reading skills to decipher our secret code of mystery. Oh hey! You're not very far behind where Mabel and I last left the story. Stan has already stormed out of the Gravity Falls trash dump in a huff...After that is when Stanford steps in and offers a deal that McGucket and his raccoon wife can't possibly turn down. It's an offer Stanley is far too cheap to even think of, but little does Fiddleford know that Ford actually plans on kidnapping him and trapping him in the Shack for the rest of his days!"


	9. Chapter 9

"Stanford, where are you taking me?" McGucket had absolutely no clue off to where he was being dragged. All he knew is there was a great pang of sorrow within his heart. For already he knew that great change was to occur in his life from that very moment onward.

"Fiddleford? Are you coming or what?" Stanford whispered sweetly to him from the edge of the stage. He could still here the booming cheers from the citizens of Gravity Falls bombarding his ears like the world's loudest stereo. He thought to himself, I'm much too old for the likes of this. Before exiting the stage, his conscious rose far above the crowds roaring only for him and off in the distance, all the way across town to the barely visible hilltops of garbage that he once had called home. He missed them already, his favorite trash heaps that he could curl up in and snooze the day away, his beloved raccoon wife...

* * *

"Hold on. Hold on," Dipper stopped Wendy in the middle of the page.

Wendy marked the book and then temporarily closed it, resting it in her lap, "What's wrong, Dipper? You feel alright? Do you need anything?"

Flustered, the sick boy found himself shaking his head so madly he began to feel dizzy and had to steady himself, "Uh, no. I'm s-sorry, I just think I'm a little lost. Why does old man McGucket have to leave his dump? And how come the crowd is so thrilled about him? Not to mention the fact that I have zero recollection of any of this happening in real life. I honestly think I would remember Great Uncle Ford kidnapping McGucket to live here with us."

The teenager reached over and patted him on the head, "You poor, poor thing. I think the fever's gotten to your brain. You probably don't remember half of what I just read to you. Do you need me to get your gruncle? Don't move, I'll get the one you're not tired of seeing."

Dipper gasped out, "Wendy, wait! That isn't what I-" But the door had already closed behind her. He heard her stomps down the stairway slowly fade and sat in silence for a few seconds before gazing pensively at the diary she'd left atop his sheets.

* * *

There was a gentle splash as the hot, steaming liquid hit the bottom of the porcelain mug. Stanley's arm ached. It felt as if he'd been holding the kettle for an hour. And Soos sure was taking his sweet old time with his piercing whine he used to pass the time as more and more scalding tea poured into the mug. Come to think of it, Soos's mug seeming to be filling up pretty fast the more the two of them just stood there and waited for it. It almost got to the point where the tea was about to run off the edges of the mug. Fortunately before it could, Soos finally screamed out the word "WHEN!" and Stan tipped up the kettle at the very last second. The shout startled the old man so that he fumbled with the kettle full of boiling tea, nearly spilling it all over himself in the process. All the while the younger man sipped ignorantly away at his tea. After placing the kettle back on the stove, Stan stole a glance at the clock below it. It read brightly against the dark night sky out the window as eight-thirty P.M. He could barely withhold a sigh at that. So much for waiting out the night.

They didn't seem to have a choice as to whether or not let Soos stay. They had originally planned on sending him out with Wendy so that Dipper could have had been able to finally sleep with some peace in the house. Unfortunately with Wendy being forced to hide the diary, it seemed as if Soos were here to stay so they may as well have made their guest comfortable. And now Mabel and Stanford had disappeared too, leaving Stan to keep Soos distracted for the rest of the night. It didn't help that Soos seemed to be taking full advantage of living in the Shack like he owned the place. At least the Shack was a lot quieter than most nights even if there were extra people occupying its spaces. That is until the two men heard a sudden loud knocking of boots down the stairs. With a quick hand to his face, Stan slowly stood up from the table. Who out of the ten people in the house could that be? A shadow cast itself across the floor of the living room and Wendy's silhouette appeared in the mouth of the den. So that's where she'd been all that time, keeping Dipper company in the attic? "Hello, boys," her voices dribbled casually like fluid from her lips and clear across the den.

"Hey, Wendy!" Soos beamed. He held his coffee mug up in the air to greet her.

Before he could say anything else however, Stan strutted straight toward the girl, "Uh, Soos, could you give us a minute? Wendy and I have some urgent business to discuss." He then took Wendy by the arm and pulled her aside. "Where is the diary? Is it hidden upstairs now? Did you talk to Dipper when you were up there? Is he doing alright?"

Wendy lowered her voice to reply to him, "Yeah. I left the diary in his and Mabel's room. Actually, he's the reason I even came down here. I think that we should take shifts watching over him if we're gonna be here the rest of the night."

"Hey, good idea, Wendy!" Stan grinned. "I'll switch out with you!"

"Uh, no, I was thinking more about your brother," the girly idly waved at Soos who waved back at her.


	10. Chapter 10

Dipper shivered inwardly though there was no one there to witness such vulnerability. He didn't shake because it was cold, however or because the of the sickness leeching the energy from his body for that matter. One could call it the emotional toll the sickness had taken on him that day but what started the shivering off was fear. The fear had started after Wendy had left him and he was forced to stay in the attic all alone once again. He was used to it by now of course, but then there occurred a bumbling and thumping around in the rooms downstairs. And then there started the yelling and although to the boy it was distant, he knew that they were arguing with each other again.

Dipper put his pillow over his ears and tried his best to block it all out. He could have sworn he felt a tear stray down his cheek. Why did they have to keep fighting like this? Why did they feel the need to constantly yell and tear each other down? He suddenly remembered what had happened right before he'd woken up that morning. Maybe it was the reason for the entire day's debacle. It was hard to remember at the moment but what he'd dreamed into the morning seemed to match closely with what came into play today. Maybe that was the reason he'd dreaded waking up in the morning and when eventually he had he'd felt terrible. He didn't care if he couldn't breathe or not. All of a sudden he could not care less whether or not he suffocated. He stayed in that hunched-over, sitting position for an unknown amount of time that seemed to drag on into limitless oblivion. It got to the point where he was sure he felt himself drifting off.

Then the knob on the bedroom door turned once again with an ear-grating creak. It sent a bolt of pain to rip the boy's brain to shred and it took everything he had not to scream out in surprise. The floorboards made eerie noises as the intruder stepped inside. It sounded like a large boot had just set foot in the small attic. Oh great, Dipper thought to himself. He's back again for more entertaining story time. He wasn't entirely sure how much longer he could humor the old man. Then a gruff voice spoke out and Dipper perked up, "Dipper? Can you hear me? It's your great uncle Ford. Wendy said I should come up here to check on you and so I thought I would." He walked over and took a seat down next to the boy. "Are you alright?"

Slowly but surely, the boy lowered the pillow from his face but still hid the better part of his face with his sweat-soaked hair. What he would give for Mabel's bangs in that moment. He didn't dare meet his gruncle in the face but it was clear he saw him shaking vigorously. Gently he reached over and pulled the boy to his side though he could feel how hot he was pressed up against him. Stanford pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He hoped Dipper hadn't heard him and his brother screaming and destroying the furniture just a few minutes prior. He thought back to then.

He'd been in the basement with Mabel and Waddles. Then Wendy had come knocked on the vending machine saying that it was his turn before a a much harsher knock had made itself known. He'd known in an instant it was Stanley. His disturbing rap on the fragile vending machine glass had turned out to be completely pointless. All he had done it for was just so he could yell for Ford not to bother because he'd go up himself. Stanford had been especially indignant at this protest that Stanley had just been begging for his brother to spite him. Ford had told Mabel and Wendy to hold down the fort (aka keep Stan at bay) while he went upstairs to check on Dipper. Unfortunately he had had no choice but to order them to do so in front of his brother whose rage was only fueled by the fact that the girls had agreed.

So it had indeed been Stanley had that started the violence and Ford was glad that everyone else had been there to witness him. It had all gone down the toilet when they'd brought it back up to the den and Stan had grabbed Soos's mug of still-scalding-hot coffee while he'd still been mid-sip. Ford was sure a discolored scar would have already formed on the poor man's lips by now due to that. Fortunately it only left a scar and nothing completely crippling. That was more than anyone could say about the wall behind the television set. It had received a rather deep indent with a crack that disappeared behind the TV and was wide enough in the middle to show the darkness that lay in the basement. There also now lay a splatter of a dried brown liquid and white foam around the edges of the hole. Ford hoped that Mabel and the others would make Stanley clean it up instead of doing it for him. Ford himself planned on owning up to his own responsibilities as he was fully aware of his own blatant faults in the fight. That chair that he'd lifted and then thrown in his anger, it didn't look like it could be fixed. Ford was sure he could just build another one. What money did he have left after all those years spent wandering through the abyss? But even after having been burnt, Soos had still been a good sport and had not questioned what was so important upstairs- it would not be pretty if he had.


	11. Chapter 11

It had taken a while as well as quite the effort on all four parts, but eventually Mabel, Soos, Waddles, and Wendy had finally been able to tie up the old man. After the deed was done, Wendy had to step back and wipe sweat from her brow. She had to admit Stan was far stronger than she would have imagined. He'd put up an exceptional fight too. The two gruncles wrecking the room hadn't seemed to be enough for them. They'd wanted more and fortunately before things could end badly, the fight had dissolved more into which crusty, old man could out-scream the other. Then Ford had made a break for it before any of them had had the chance to stop him. Stan had been about to go after him but luckily it had taken the combined efforts of the four others to hold him down. At least they'd been able to tie him up and trap him in the basement. It was a shame they couldn't do the same to Stanford. But he'd already made a break for the stairs and they were fairly sure he wouldn't try anything around Dipper. There was one point that he had, only Stanley had been up to read Dipper the diary and it seemed he had purposely been keeping Mabel busy so that she hadn't been able to see him herself. And separated from his twin, Ford tended to act a lot more mature. If only the same could be said for his brother. Wendy hoped he wouldn't destroy any of Ford's expensive equipment.

In order to recover from the shock of such a spectacle, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy sat back at the table with Waddles underneath at their feet. Soos held an ice pack that Mabel had retrieved from the freezer firmly to his grimaced lips. Wendy and Mabel had their own mugs of coffee, ones that were not broken. Every once in a while the girls shared a knowing glance but were unable to voice their mutual concern. They had to get back to the diary. Even though Ford had helped them add to it, they weren't completely sure that one person alone could be trusted to act responsible with it. It was a diary after all...

Luckily, Soos seemed more or less clueless to their troubles. He proceeded to continually sip cooled coffee from his new mug as if his lip had never been burned. Finally he placed it down on the table and looked up at the girls. With a raised eyebrow he glanced from the redhead to the brunette and then back again. He folded his thick hands together and stared them down, "So uh, do you dudes know what was up with all that drama?" There was a pause.

Mabel chuckled nervously, "Tensions are just kinda high right now. We're all really worried about Dipper and he isn't gonna get better if they fight like this."

Soos's face softened a bit back to his usual sympathetic expression, "How is the little dude by the way? You know I haven't seen him all day. This morning Stan told me not to come in because Dipper had caught something so I thought maybe it was something serious."

"Oh it's not so bad," Mabel assured him. "Grunkle Stan is just making it hard for him to get any rest. He keeps insisting he listen to him prattle on about how great it would be for Old Man McGucket to live here with us. I mean, I don't deny we're the ones that put that stuff in his head in the first place, us and Great uncle Ford. We kinda got into a shipping phase their, yeah."

"Come to think of it," Wendy looked thoughtful and glanced across the den at the staircase. "Ford is up there right now with him. I know that it was my idea that he take a turn to check on Dipper, but honestly I feel like all this excitement just followed him up there. But I still don't think it would be a good idea to go up and check on them. Sorry, Soos. I don't really feel right now is the best time for you to see him. But I'm sure Mabel will put in a good word for you, won't you Mabel?"

"Yeah," Mabel replied, not making eye contact. After a long pause, she put down her mug. Soos and Wendy peered inside, surprised to find out it was still half full. "You know what, maybe I'll go see them right now. I know we told great uncle Ford we wouldn't disturb him. I'll just take a quick peek." She then slid her chair away from the table, its legs creaking against the floorboards, and headed upstairs. Before she was out of sight she swiveled her head backward to give them one last look. "You guys can stay down here to make sure Grunkle Stan doesn't escape. Maybe you'll find something in the medicine cabinet to sedate him with!" Then she was gone.

* * *

"Great uncle Ford," Dipper struggled to find words. "Is everything okay downstairs? I heard sounds, loud sounds. What's happening down there? Are Mabel and Grunkle Stan and Wendy okay?"

Ford noticed him clutching the diary so hard his knuckles had gone white and sweat dripped down the leather cover. He took the book insistently out of the boy's hands, "It's okay now, Dipper. Everything's okay. No one got hurt. Stanley and I just didn't have the flexibility to crack open our thick skulls."

"What! D-do you mean you guys fought?" Dipper's eyes widened in shock.

Ford could tell he was feeling more and more out of it. He couldn't lie to him so he wouldn't he just pulled him closer but said nothing more.


	12. Chapter 12

The girl's legs ached as she made her climb up the stairs, nearly tripping over herself and narrowly avoiding a lethal fall back down them. It had been so long since she'd been up there, she realized how tired she suddenly felt after working all day in the gift shop. She hadn't been in her bedroom to see Dipper since that morning and that realization alarmed her somewhat. Even after hours she was forced to stay downstairs to keep an eye on both Soos and Stan. Not to mention having to witness the sheer insanity that had been Stan and Ford's brief-yet-enthralling brawl had taken quite a load of energy off of everyone. But at least she had done what she could to help him feel better. Her, Wendy, and her great uncle Ford had written him a rather engaging read to say the least. Though she had to admit the story did go all over the place at times. Mabel did not really think the three of them had really thought it all the way through. Each of them had wanted to add their own random ideas of what should happen and it didn't mesh together very well.

Finally she reached the door to her and Dipper's bedroom. She knocked on it firmly. She couldn't quite make out what was going on inside. There were sounds to be heard coming from the other side of the door, but they were too nondescript of voices to be described. After a few seconds Stanford opened the door, "Oh, Dipper, your sister's come to visit you as well! Come on in, Mabel!" Ford talked in a surprisingly gratingly loud voice. It made Mabel flinch her eyes. She wondered how Dipper dealt with it. Had he been using this same volume whilst enclosed inside that tiny attic? She stepped inside and Ford closed the door behind her and locked it. Dipper was sitting up in bed to look at his sister. He still looked tired but an excited light seemed to dance in his eyes. It was a very familiar look, a look they both got often upon seeing each other. He looked a little better from the last time she'd seen him in the morning. Color had returned somewhat to his face and it seemed to be less of a chore for him to sit up in bed. Whatever it was that Ford had done, it seemed to have worked wonders. He sat in the chair by his nephew's bed, smiling at her. He reached over and patted an empty spot at the foot of the bed with his thick, stubby hand. "Your brother has been wondering about the situation in the den. I thought maybe you'd be the best candidate to report the current circumstances. How are things with Stanley and the others? How are Soos and Wendy holding up? Has Soos suspected anything yet?"

"Nope! Not yet!" Mabel gave a casual answer whilst simultaneously hoisting herself up and onto the bed beside Dipper. She noticed Soos's diary on the desk a little ways away. "Did you finish the diary yet, Dipper? I don't know about you, but I for one feel a little angry. I can't believe Soos witnessed the wedding of great uncle Ford and Old Man McGucket! Can you believe that? Soos was invited to the wedding that was held this summer and we weren't even invited." She never turns to glance at Stanford and see that he blushed like a firetruck at her words.

Dipper did nothing but roll his eyes, "Yes. I'm all of that happened and that's why I have no memory of it because I wasn't invited. I'm sure that's the exact reason we haven't seen McGucket prance around the Shack as a french maid." At this Ford blushed even harder.

Mabel went quiet for a time and Dipper asked her what was the matter. She looked at him. Then she gave him a smile, "Oh, nothing. I just imagined something utterly ridiculous! I wondered if you had heard our fight downstairs."

Suddenly her brother averted his eyes, "...So there was a fight." This situation was taking an undesirably awkward turn.

"Well, not a _big_ fight," she attempted. She desperately searched for the right words that would not further upset her brother. But inside she knew that she could only tell it as it was. "I mean, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford did yell at each other a lot...and throw things..." Dipper went completely silent. Mabel could tell she wasn't exactly helping things along. "...Stan tried to break into the basement and Ford broke a chair, but none of that matters anymore. Because they're very sorry for that, aren't you, Great Uncle Ford?"

"Of course," Stanford cleared his throat. "I'll build us a new chair, an even better one. Maybe I'll install a jet pack onto all of the chairs and we can fly around to any place in the house while eating dinner. But don't you see, Dipper? Everything is okay. I'm sure Soos and Wendy are finishing up cleaning up the den while Stanley enjoys his undisturbed nap in my lab. So what do you say we all relax and finish the diary together? I promise you that your friend, Soos, will be none the wiser."

Dipper turned his tired eyes upon his second great uncle and gave him a small smile, "Okay." He crawled over to his desk and took the book before returning next to Mabel. She scooted up to look through with him as he opened it and began flipping through the pages. "I'm pretty sure we last left off on a sour note when they were threatening to burn down the dump if Fiddleford didn't surrender." The three were able to finally get through all of it, ignoring the looming responsibility of eventually having to deal with the mess downstairs.


	13. Chapter 13

After Soos and Wendy had seen Mabel disappear into the darkness of the upstairs hallway, Soos took another sip of his coffee. Wendy gazed at him curiously, "Is your lip alright?"

The man stopped mid-sip and put the cup back onto the table. He peered into his reflection in the liquid to examine his face, "Yep. You know, it's weird. I've been so worried about all of this getting out of hand that I kinda forgot I even got burnt. It's funny because even though we tied him up and locked him using Ford's maximum security in the basement, I still feel like Stan will bust out somehow."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Wendy cast a knowing glance across the room to the vending machine. "But don't worry. Mr. Pines might be a determined conman that can breakout of almost anywhere, but he can't be any match for his brother's advanced technological violence. Besides we knocked him out, remember? He is completely powerless until he wakes up."

As if on cue, an obnoxious banging noise slams itself again and again against the opposite side of the vending machine. The two looked on in horror, "It sounds like he's awake right now!"

"I know you're out there!" the old man's bellows were muffled behind the thick plaster and metal lining of the vending machine. "I can hear voices! Soos, Mabel? Let me out right now or I will break this old snack box down with my bare knuckles!"

Wendy got up out of her chair and stormed over to the vending machine. She pounded her fist against the glass screen guarding the expired bags of Doritos, "We're not letting you out. Dipper's still sick and we can't have you and your hard-head brother duking it out down here! Once Ford comes back down here, we're gonna lock him in the basement with you and for you guys to makeup like that one episode of Parks and Rec."

"Oh no, Ford is up there with Dipper? And you guys just let him waltz up when you know that it was because of him that Dipper is sick to begin with!" the old man continued to slam his full weight into the other side of the vending machine over and over. He could not believe that Wendy had been watching Parks and Recreation all this time and had never told him.

"We're sorry, Mr. Pines, but we can't let you out. This secret door won't open again until Ford comes back. Until then you have Waddles to keep you company. We designed a pig flap door just for him," Soos spoke those words.

Stanley stopped body-slamming the vending machine and went onto pressing his hands flat against it and speaking at it as if it would help his chances of being comprehended, "Soos, don't you wanna know what's been going on upstairs? You are the only one who isn't in on it already. Wow, come to think of it- with the amount of time you've spent over here tonight already, I'm surprised you're still out of the loop on this whole thing! Are you not worried about Dipper? How do you think he can stay up there for so long without getting curious and trying to sneak down? What is everyone doing to keep him entertained? If you let me out of here, I'll show you."

"Don't listen to him, Soos," Wendy urged him. "You are evil, Stan Pines. You know that Soos lost his diary when his Abuelita dropped by earlier, looking for it." She briefly glanced back to see Soos's reaction. "I can't imagine how disoriented his mind must be right now, having nothing to record his thoughts in. Don't you dare take advantage of him just because he's vulnerable."

"You know about my missing diary?" Soos gasped.

Stan did too, "Wait a minute...You guys knew about his lost diary this whole time and you didn't make a single move at all to help him find it? What kind of monsters are you? Hey, that's it! Heh. I don't need you guys to bust me out of here!" Then there was nothing but silence. Stan had left the scene. Wendy's hand slid down the glass window and she sighed, looking back up at Soos and shaking her head. They walked back to the table and sat down. Wendy refilled both their mugs and they stayed in complete peace as the night continued to stretch on.

* * *

Stanley walked down the stairs and back into the dimly-lit basement that he had once spent excessive amounts of time in. Now that job space had been filled by his good-for-nothing brother. He never had seen what everyone else did in Stanford, not since they were kids. Dipper had willingly gone out with him in the cold, bitter rain, knowing full well he'd come back drenched in mud and who knows what else. Why? Now he had the flu and was bedridden because of Ford and everyone still let him into the attic. They'd told him they'd condemn him for fighting as well as smashing that poor chair to wooden splinters against the marble floor but they sure had seemed giddy as ever to let him waltz upstairs. Well Stan was not about to wait for them to bring him into the basement. There were obvious ways to escape this place that the others should have known about but hadn't bothered to bar up.

The main laboratory was lit only by a single bulb in the middle of the room. The closet however was a completely different story. The window beneath the porch let the sunlight in at just the right angle at which Stan could climb up the counter and pull himself through the opening to freedom.


	14. Chapter 14

The bushy, grey eyebrows attached to the old man's forehead furrowed for the very last time that night before he snapped the book closed, "Wow. Well that sure was a wild ride from start to finish. Had I known everything I was in for before you guys opened the portal for me, all of those from my past I would have to deal with in such bizarre ways, I would've never come back!"

The man began to chuckle but Dipper just rolled his eyes, "It's okay, Great Uncle Ford. You can drop the act now. I know none of this actually happened. I also know that you and Mabel added most of the things you read from it to cheer me up and I actually think that's pretty considerate. So...thanks guys..." Dipper had to admit he was feeling a lot better, whether it had been the wacky adventure vandalized in Soos's diary or them never letting him leave the room to probably do something stupid to make himself even sicker was up for debate. He even felt awake enough to realize the appetite he suddenly had. Should he say something to Mabel and Ford? They both looked the most content they had in days before this incident had occurred. He'd mark it down to his ever-recurring misfortune, but his being ill seemed to be the best thing that had ever happened to their family. He placed his hands on the spinal binding of the diary that had turned his day completely upside-down.

Mabel lay sprawled across her brother's bed, rumpling the tangled, sweaty sheets even more than they had been before she'd entered the room. She lay on her stomach and leaned on her elbows with her outspread palms supporting her chin. She was grinning widely, the chaos of the earlier nighttime seemingly forgotten, "I don't know, Great Uncle Ford. You helped write this. These were out fantasies, the fanfiction of our own lives! Yes, Wendy and I were the ones that started the film noir-esque plot with McGucket. But weren't you the one who requested he uncover his old french maid outfit before the two of you recognized each other? Could I be wrong in assuming that french maid dress is real? If so, is this not what you wanted to happen? This was you mirroring real life as much as us!" Ford listened to every last word of her rant in complete in utter silence. His sister's smug sneer as she gazed up at her gruncle was sending Dipper a bit on edge. Stanford's eyebrows knitted even closer together and for a moment he seemed to tense up. Mabel's cheshire grin grew wider. It seemed to him the girl was onto something. She wanted to tear him down, no matter how joking a light she in which she framed it, he was sure that was her ultimate intention. What had Ford done to earn such underlying hostility toward himself? Well, he could thing of quite a few aspects from just off the top of his head but nothing he could see to directly wrong her and her alone. Why did she suddenly seem dead-set on settling a sort of personal feud between them he knew not of?

In the end Ford did nothing of malice. He merely picked the diary in his hand from the bed sheets and ran his fingers across all the pages. He stopped toward to last few pages added in and gazed inside with almost a dreamy glaze in his eyes, "You know what, Mabel? I'll give you this: I have indeed been long awaiting the inevitable, having to reconnect eventually with the people from my past. McGucket and I had our ups and downs and if I ever see him again, well let's just say I'd rather it be a fantasy than any reality I can foresee. Maybe it's best the answers we seek stay locked away in that diary..." Mabel stayed silent for about a full minute and within that span of time he thought he caught the faintest glimpse of a glare.

Dipper finally decided to speak out after the awkward wave of silence. He cleared his throat to talk but before he could begin an earsplitting shriek wrenched itself across the house. The three in the tiny attic bedroom nearly jumped out of their skin. It had been so peaceful up until then. The floor began to vibrate as it seemed someone or something was banging itself against the walls of the shack. The wooden walls and floorboards groaned throughout the house. Whatever it was kept it up and Ford reached for his holster...only to find it empty. He frantically felt around for it as the ramming against the sides of the shack seemingly grew harder and more frequent. Mabel noticed his sudden panicked expression. "Lookin' for something, Fordsey?" when her gruncle turned around to face her she held up his long, triangular gun. Before he could ask she began to explain. "Really now, Great Uncle Ford, did you honestly think I would trust you or Grunkle Stan with actual weapons? I knew I had to take away your gun."

"Mabel, this is serious!" he grabbed for the gun but Mabel stood up on the bed and held it just barely out of his reach. "We're being attacked! The barrier around this house only protects us from Bill Cipher. To anything else we're fair game!"

Mabel hid the gun behind her. She that under no circumstances would Stanford put his hands on her. "What? It's only Stan trying to escape the basement again. What's wrong, you're not doubting that your brother can get through your security lasers with just his brass knuckles alone, are you?" She gave him another sneer. She wasn't about to let him off the hook just yet.


	15. Chapter 15

Wendy and Soos were sitting on the carpeted floor of the den when they heard it. Wendy was on her knees, leaning in front of the TV. They'd agreed that Stan had probably gone to sleep or just given up from the sound of it. Also they really wanted to catch the latest of CSI if they could. The redhead fiddled with the old turn dial of the seventies TV that Stanley refused to throw out under any circumstances. Suddenly the sound of breaking glass in the other room rang throughout the entire downstairs shack. Her arm stopped short in mid-reach. She swiveled her head around to stare wide-eyed at Soos, her fiery mane being thrown back behind her neck, "Soos! What was that?"

They heard another loud crash that shook the entire room. The house creaked around them and Soos stared ominously up at the ceiling. For a while nothing happened before the two overheard quiet muttering and grunts coming from just outside the shack walls... They stared at each other in pure horror, "Aw crap, he's out!" They sprung into action as fast as they could, Soos rushing over to the vending machine and quickly punching in the code Ford had shown him. With a rush and a red-light beeping emanation alongside the most cliche steam surrounding the stairway entrance to the basement, the vending machine gave way. Heavy thumps rattled the basement walls and the young man awkwardly flung himself down the flight of wooden steps, Wendy in tow right behind him. When they reached the lab they were immediately enshrouded in darkness sans a faint light filtering beneath the closet door. Soos opened it to find a stuffy room with only one source of light in the whole compartment, the window which also happened to be wide open. It was completely silent other than the faint rustling of someone moving around in the grass that could be heard from outside.

Wendy turned to face Soos with an uncharacteristically serious expression plastered across her facial features. It unnerved him, "Soos, you go upstairs. Warn the others that Stan is trying to get in. I can fit through this window pretty easily, I think. Waddles and I will try to hold him off."

"Got it," Soos was just about to turn tail and head back up the basement stairs.

Suddenly, Wendy whipped her head around once more, "And Soos?" He stopped in his tracks and turned around one last time before going to check on the other Pineses. "Keep an eye on Ford."

Soos nodded, "Gotcha." Then he made his way back upstairs.

The redhead climbed onto the counter and put both hands on the window frame. With a grunt, she lifted herself up with her bare palms through the narrow rectangle that was the open window and into the bright moonlight. She shut it behind her so not to let the gruncle escape if he were to be locked down there again. A scuffling noise, it was quiet but Wendy was sure she heard something nearby. He could not have had made it far. She huffed at herself angrily. Why had she not thought to bring a flashlight? She and Soos had had to act quickly or else they would never catch Stanley. She headed out from under the shade of the porch. She seemed to be drawing ever so nearer when the scuffing turned to something else. Someone was trying to hacksaw their way through the front door. Wendy mentally kicked herself again. Why had she not thought to bring an ax?

* * *

Soos hurried up the steps, his heart pounding in his chest, nearly losing his breath every other step he climbed. When he got to the kids' room, he pounded on the door. Fearful voices sounded from the inside. "Oh my gosh! He's here! What do we do?" that sounded like Mabel.

"You kids stay back!" he heard Ford bark at them. "You may be keeping my gun from me but I can take Stanley with or without his brass knuckles."

Soos pressed the entire front of his body against the door. "Wait, Mr. Pines! It's me, Soos!"

"Soos?" Ford's voice suddenly sounded a lot less threatening muffled behind the door. There was a long pause. "Is Stanley with you?"

Soos looked back over his shoulder, "Nope."

The door opened and Ford stood aside to let him in. "Well what are you waiting for, man? Get in here!"

He didn't even have to grab the man's arm and usher him in like he looked like he was about to, Soos was already hurrying in. Ford closed the door abruptly behind him and Soos almost wondered if they were taking him hostage for supposedly helping Stan. He looked around the room and finally lay his eyes on Dipper's bed where both twins sat adamantly watching him. Mabel had sprawled herself out at the foot of the bed. Her arms hung limply over the end edge of the mattress while her eyes continued to burn into his. He hadn't seen Dipper for quite a few days. He felt the slightest wave of relief wash over him to see him now and know that he was alright. He stared him down curiously as well and though he looked quite healthy, Soos could not help but notice that he seemed a little on edge. His arms were straight back and stiff as he supported himself on his haunches with them. Soos suddenly remembered why he had come, "Dudes, I've come to warn you! Stanley could be on his way up here right now. He managed to escape the basement outside."

"It's settled, then. Mabel has my gun. She can use it to defend her brother from anything if need be."

"What will you do, Great Uncle Ford, if you don't have your gun on you?"

"It doesn't matter if I have it or not. I'll confront him and deal with him so that maybe you can all finally get some peace and quiet."


	16. Chapter 16

As Wendy approached around the front of the house, her footsteps lightly sifting through the soft grass, a faint jingle as well as a pained grumbling met her ears. Keeping her slim body pressed against the Shack wall, she was able to sneak a peek around the corner to the front door. Stanley had his right hand clutching the front doorknob firmly while his left dug around his suit pocket which jingled incessantly. "Where is it that goddamn key? I know I have it on me. Aha! Here it is!" He pulled out a ring of keys and stuck one key into the lock triumphantly. She listened to the clicking sound as he turned it and pulled out, stuffing the ring back into his pocket.

Just before he could turn the knob with his other hand, he let out a yelp of surprise when hands grasped both his shoulders and yanked him backward. The old man stumbled back off the front porch and deeper into the night. He turned around and swung blindly at whatever it was that had him. What monster was it this time that came out of the darkness to prowl around in the open air at nighttime from its wretched home in the woods? Something hard rammed him in the ribs and with a pained grunt he found himself spiraling onto the hard ground. "Sorry about that, Mr. Pines. The last thing I wanted to do was attack an old guy, believe me. But I didn't really have much of a choice, what with your escape."

Still on the ground, Stan turned around to face his cashier indignantly. "You had no choice? I'm the one you kept prisoner in my brother's nightmarish torture palace! What do you have Ford doing now, huh? Has he got you and Soos's blind worship him too now?"

"We don't worship Ford." Wendy put her hands on her hips. "No one's taking sides here. Both of you are in the wrong, why can't you just acknowledge that?" She lent her hand to him to help him up. "We have to get inside. It's dangerous to stay out here too long at night." Bright yellow eyes were already appearing through the trees from all around to leer at them.

"I know that!" Stan said with annoyance but took her hand nonetheless and hoisted himself up. "I've known that for longer than you have." They started back to the Shack.

After Stanley shut the door behind them, they stood awkwardly in the dark and quiet shop. She gave him an abashed glance, "So...what are you gonna do now? I brought you in here so that you and Ford could make amends. And now I'm not entirely sure what I should do." Stan stepped into the hallway and Wendy followed him. They stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"To be completely honest, you might not believe me but I lost sight of the point in all our fighting hours ago. You say you blame us both, you, Soos, Mabel. But while I was being held in the basement against my will, can you tell me where Ford is right now? I felt like you all thought I was the bad guy and maybe I didn't exactly help my case by becoming the bad guy after all."

A new voice sounded from the top of the stairs. "Stanley, is that really the reason?" Looking upward the pair could see the silhouette of the other Mr. Pines barricading the upstairs light. "Because if it is, it's a really stupid one."

"Yes. I'm sure you would know a whole lot about legitimate reasons for doing things," Stanley shot back. "Remind me again who it was that created an interdimensional portal only to have himself sucked through with no virtual way to get back? Oh yeah, it was you wasn't it!" Stanford began to come down the stairs while Wendy quietly slipped off into the den. More silence when he reached the bottom. It was just the two of them. It had been a long time since they'd been alone together like this and relations were still pretty tense.

After a long minute of staring at each other without either one of them uttering a word, Ford sighed. "Stanley, listen. I should be the one to tell you this. We finished the diary." He paused and then added. "Without you."

Stan scowled at him. "What the hell do you mean you finished without me? You're not even supposed to be up there! No one is except for me and that kid!"

Ford attempted to diffuse Stanley's antagonization but it was becoming increasingly clear that rage was building up inside of him as well. "If you'd just hear me out, you would know that Dipper is okay now and it wasn't right to hide him from his friends for so long. Mabel and Soos are with him now and don't worry- Soos knows nothing about his stolen diary. The important thing is that they're all fine and calm and happy together unlike how they were earlier when we were throwing things. I had fun with them and the diary that was your idea (and just so you know, most of what that book consists of was hurriedly written up by Mabel, Wendy, and I in a fevered ruse). But now I've had enough fun for the night. It's your turn to spend time with your great niece and nephew. And that's what I came down here to tell you."

"You bastard," Stan snarled at him.

"Stanley, please," Stanford barked. "For once in your life stop being so stubborn!"

"Don't act like this is charity if I took care of this house for decades!" Stanley would not let his brother act like an angel. "I won't let you go and make me look like the villain again, at least not until we've finished what we started."


	17. Chapter 17

After Ford left, Soos, Dipper, and Mabel continued to catch up, chatting about different things going on around town. Soos was glad to announce that Melanie had finally called him back after days of giving him the cold shoulder. The twins were very happy for him. Dipper despite a lingering dizziness decided he was well enough to go downstairs and eat something. He looked to Soos and Mabel. They were still contentedly chatting away about their plans for the rest of the summer. Half of him wanted to let them keep talking. It had indeed been a while since anyone at the Shack had had word of Soos for a few days. Dipper realized they never once said how much they missed his presence down in the gift shop. Maybe it was time he finally went downstairs. He cleared his throat to get their attention. They immediately stopped chattering and the room's attention was directed at him. For a quick moment his eyes switched from his sister to best friend back and forth awkwardly, "Uh... Okay. While you guys keep talking, I'm just gonna get some fresh air for the first time today." He got out of bed and strode to the window. Mabel and Soos stopped talking to each other to watch him. Suddenly a nervous air swept over the room as Dipper climbed onto the desk at the back wall of the attic and pushed apart the triangular glass frames. He could sense something was wrong.

"Um, Dipper? Are you sure you should be out of bed?" Mabel inquired worriedly.

"I'm fine, Mabel. Don't worry about me, I feel a lot better, really," he reassured his sister. Still standing atop the desk of loose papers, he turned to face the two after opening the window. Something wasn't right. That's when he saw it just like Mabel and Soos did and they all stared in silence at the corner of teal leather sticking out from beneath Dipper's pillow. He couldn't say anything. What could he say that could possibly justify smearing germs all over his friend's diary and never telling him? He glanced at Mabel for support but all she did was shrug back at him. It seemed they were both fresh out of ideas.

After a few more seconds of standing and glaring without anyone actually opening their mouth, Soos turned to Mabel. He pointed at the pillow. "Is that what I think it is, dudes?" His eyes were wide and curious. The wall shook again. Something or someone had been slammed up against it. The three looked at each other now all on the same page once again of mutual confusion. Another loud noise downstairs occuring for the third time that night could only mean one thing. They started toward the door and into the hallway. At the bottom of the stairs was another large dent in the wall. Mabel slapped her hand to her forehead and tsked. This was the house Ford built. This was also the house Stan lived in for thirty years awaiting Ford's return. Why were they both so dead-set on desecrating the house they'd both grown so attached to over the years? The girl raced down the stairs and into the den, following the trail of wreckage.

In the den she found Wendy. Her two gruncles were busy battling it out in the middle of the room caught in an arm lock. Stan was naturally on the defense, constantly looking for an offensive hand to shove his brother away from him but he had to deal with struggling just to hold ground. It was clear that Ford wasn't using nearly as much energy and barely even fought with his brother alongside any real effort. Mabel could see how firmly he slowly pushed Stanley's arms backwards into himself with virtually no effort at all. He only worked to keep him at bay and not actually attack him. Still, that didn't take from the fact that he was just as if not more stubborn than Stan himself. Things were strewn about the floor, mainly comforter cushions that had been taken from the couch. It took Mabel a moment to register that the sofa itself in its entirety had been flipped all the way over and lent against the wall. Chairs were also overturned. The place was to put it plainly an unfixable mess. Wendy stood in the middle of it all. She attempted to break up the fight, tried her best to get between the two, placing each hand on one gruncle's shoulder to shove them apart.

"What's going on here? What happened to the den?" Mabel heard her brother share her own bewilderment and he and Soos came up behind her. At hearing the boy's weak croak, the gruncles immediately let down their guard to stare at him awkwardly in a standstill. Unfortunately and humiliatingly for both their parts, Stan's hands still contained a bit too much shove in them and as soon as Stanford stopped fighting, he found himself on the floor. As soon as the old man's body hit the carpet, Wendy flew into action while the others could do nothing but stare in shock.

The redhead grabbed Stanley and raised her fist. "Wendy, hold up!" he shrieked at her. Everyone could agree that Wendy was her most frightening when made angry. The entire room went silent sans Stanley and Wendy's screams of pent up rage. Her arm reeled backward. "It was an accident! I swear!" It went back faster. It went back too fast and her elbow socked Stanford in the nose as his face came up to meet it. Ford cried out in shock and agony as his head hit the floor again. Wendy's head swiveled around and she covered her mouth at the sight of what she'd done, whilst her elbow retracted the other way and caught Stan this time.


	18. Chapter 18

Stan yelped out and fell to the floor in agony. Now both gruncles had been resolved to bleeding messes writhing on the ground with Wendy in the middle of it all for once looking helpless. It was an immense scene for Dipper's fragile demeanor to take in and he lent on Mabel for support. His hand shook lightly and the weak grip he had on the dense diary relinquished itself and the book fell. Soos's feet shuffled through the floor dust slowly onward in almost a cautious daze and he knelt down to pick it up and examine it. It was definitely his diary. He recognized the textures in the middle that very faintly spelled out his full name, Jesus Ramirez, and the chocolate smudge in the corner. He wondered how in the world the Pines had gotten a hold of it. Abuelita must have had given it to them. He'd have to have a stern talking to with her after all that was going on would be finally all over. There was one problem however. It didn't seem at all as if any of the drama currently taking place inside the Mystery Shack would be ending anytime soon.

"What's happened here?" He raised his eyebrow and took a protective stance in front of the twins. He didn't fully believe that the two men would actively try to hurt them. But by the looks of them, Ford and Stan seemed to be causing them some meter of grief. "We leave you two alone for ten minutes and you can't even get along from separate rooms?" The young man nudged Wendy on the shoulder. She reluctantly moved out of the way and went to join the twins to watch, having to step over a pile of broken glass from a fallen picture frame in the process.

"Soos, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Stanley barked at him. "Get out of here. You're not a part of this."

"I became a part of this when you decided to disrupt the peace and act like immature children," Soos shot back. "I don't know what shady deal you made with my Abuelita but I know she wouldn't have given you my diary and not tell me without good reason. But from the display you've both put on tonight, I realized that she made a fatal mistake in trusting you two dudes with it." He pointed to the clock. "Look at that. It's almost five. We don't have much time if we wanna ready the shack for the day so I suggest you get to work on cleaning up this place since you're the ones who wrecked everything."

"Time for what?" Stanford raised his eyebrow and wiped as much of the blood from his face as possible using his sleeve. "Are you trying to end our fight? Because I assure you, the feud between me and him ended when you walked through that doorway and distracted us."

The young man crossed his arms and glared, eyes darting from one gruncle to the other and then back again. "You dudes weren't distracted. You were broken up. You would've known all that if you'd actually stopped and listened to Wendy."

"Preach, Soos," Wendy called over. "We're with him. If you guys can't see past each others' own stubbornness, how will you ever have peace in your house?"

"No more fighting. And no more breaking things in the den for that matter also. Look out the window. You have until sunrise to clean up this place and like dumb kids that don't know how to deal with stuff, we have to separate you again. Stan, you'll stay here and clean up the den while I watch and make sure you pick up every piece of broken porcelain from all the fallen flower pots. Even though I'm pretty sure you only have like two flower pots in the entirety of your house...and only one that fell in this room...Still though! And Wendy, will you escort Stanford down to his lab in the basement. His brother made quite the mess down there for him to pick up after. Also because Waddles went missing and none of us can find him. I think we might've left him down there. So if you could check if he's there, then that would be great. And as for the kids..." Mabel and Dipper stared up at their friend almost fearfully. What was he planning on doing to them? He now knew they'd hid his diary from him. "You two should go get some rest. You've been up all night and deserve a break from these lunatics."

The twins had to stop and take that in for a short moment. That definitely was not the response to their antics that they were expecting even if it had been from Soos. They stood in shock for a couple of seconds between Mabel finally had a chance to process his words. She then nodded and took Dipper by the arm, gently guiding him back upstairs and Soos and Stan were left all alone in the den. Soos gave Stan a stern look and the old man decided it wasn't worth arguing with him any further. "Your grandmother owes me big time for this," he muttered but nonetheless headed to the cabinet and grabbed a broom and dustpan to got to work.

By the time the sun rose, both the basement and den were near spotless. Wendy found herself too shocked for words. Soos had managed Stan like he was the boss. She'd gone home for the morning, not bothering to speak to anyone, and returned just as the clock struck one.

"So I got an agent," she heard Soos talking to the twins. He held his diary proudly. "Turns out I wrote stuff in my diary I don't even remember writing so I decided to get it published!"


End file.
